Wednesday, February 22, 2012

PICTURE PERFECT EXPERIMENT

This post is an experiment (as the name suggests) by a very VERY VERY popular blogger. She was misunderstood to be a male writer because of her name. God, is she popular? Hell, yeah! I mean I wish I could write like her. She is funny, witty and humor flows in her blood. She is like the Rajnikanth of the blogging world. I don't know her personally but I have read every single post written by her and it makes me to read more and more from her. Yes, she is amazing and none other than SpacemanSpiff. *A round of applause* ( Hope she likes the introduction:) ) This thing should be paid!!

This post was due on 17th of February but 'hum toh hum hain, baaki sab paani kam hain!'  (Sorry, I will try and not write more PJ's) I follow Indian Strechable Time (not always but better late than never). Frankly speaking, I don't want to blame time. I just couldn't write. No, I have not been suffering from what you guys call Writer's bloc (This happens with intellectual people only). No idea crossed my mind (YES, I do have one!) Actually I have been feasting on previous blog posts written by fellow bloggers. I am proud to say that I have read each and every post from the blogs I follow :D and ashamed to say that I still can't write near to what they write :( I was wondering if I could comment on your previous posts (it can be two years old also!) Do let me know :)


Amazing picture na? I know :P You can treat your eyes with more amazing pictures from here (Wait!!!! Go there after reading this post because I am sure you guys won't return once you go there *threatening you with a loaded gun on your forehead*  *making a puppy face*)


THE WAIT................


Sitting there , they waited. On the bench which over these years had become their spot. This was not the first time. They literally grew up there. They met at this very place for the first time. They were six then. They came there for a school picnic. He was tying his shoe lace and she was waiting for a friend who had gone to pee. He hardly noticed her. But things changed. They watched stars, first snow at this very place. As kids, they would come and sit here after being tired of chasing each other. As teens, they shared their lunch and as adults, they shared their secrets at this very place. This bench became their spot. But today there was nothing but silence. The silence was not peaceful today. The wait was getting longer.

She waited for the rains so that it would hide her tears.
He waited for the ray of sunshine from the clouds for a positive sign.

Yes, they waited for different things.

"Say something." he whispered.
"I don't know." she replied.
"Take your time. I will wait." he said.
And again silence prevailed.

She recalled the events that happened this morning. She did not expect this. But on second thoughts, why not? These things do happen on Valentine's Day. And this was just a pleasant surprise. I love you were said before, but never this way.

For the first time, these three words gave goosebumps.

For the first time she had butterflies in her stomach.

Was this the kind of magic her friends always talked about!

"But why?" she thought again. "The cool, the Mr. Popular, the hard to get guy is here waiting for an answer from me!"

"She is hurt. I know that. But I will wait." he thought.

She recently broke up. It was painful. And he knew that.

Things were simple when they were kids. All they had to do was play with her kitchen set and pretend to be the man and the wife.

She always liked him but he never noticed her. This was what she thought.

He always liked her but was scared that he might lose her if his feelings for her were revealed. This was what he thought.

They heard a thunder.

"I told you it would rain. Let's go." she spoke.
"Trust me. It won't." he said.

She realised he did not say this in context to the weather.

He decided that any length of wait was worth if it was for her.

She decided that she had waited for long and it was decision time now.

"...........but on a condition." she finally spoke.

"Anything. Anything for you. Whatever you say.......Unlike others, I won't claim to get the moon and the stars for you but I promise to watch them every night on this very bench. Unlike others, I won't claim to not fight with you, but I promise to be the one saying sorry ALWAYS. Unlike others, I won't claim you to take on a world tour, but I promise you to make you my world." he said.

"Really?" she asked.
"Trust me." he whispered.
"But you didn't even notice me when we first met." she said.
"You remember your friend. You remember what she was doing. Sorry, but I was a boy even then." he said.

He waited again for her condition.

"Okay! So promise me to increase your weight. I don't want you to look younger to me. But it shouldn't be more than 7.75 kilos. And also promise me to use a sanitizer before eating. And wipe your break pakoras with a tissue before eating. And grow your hair a little but not more than few inches.........."

"W-H-A-T?????"

"What W-H-A-T! I have more! Afterall, I am a girl!"

And they waited again. This time he waited for the rains and she waited for the sunshine.

Moral of the story Boys will always be boys and girls will always be girls...........NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!

P.S. This was a very, very stupid attempt by me. This post was supposed to be romantic, according to the picture. But my imagination broke boundaries (this time literally :P) I am still learning to write. Hopefully, with all the good advice from you, I might improve someday (fingers crossed). Till then, please bear with me :)



Thursday, February 9, 2012

GADBADD HO GAYI.........CHUTTI HO GAYI !

Aree....aree....mujhko sambhalo, main chali (Now, in croaked voice, sing along I know you are an expert) aree gadbad ho gayi.........aree sitti baj gayi.....aree chutti ho gayi (back to your own i.e croaked voice) apna juluss tum nikalo main chali.........



Masst song na? I know:D


Heard of the phrase 'disaster queen' or something as 'Queen of blunders'. Yes? Good!


Saw her? No? Its okay! You will meet her shortly.


My life has FEW incidents  which make me one.


1)  I am not much of a movie person. I try watcing only selected few. But the fact is that any movie I choose, turns out to be a bigger disaster (Yes, my posts are little ones when compared to these movies) Heard of 'Jhoom barabar Jhoom' ,'Tashan' ,'Kites' ,'Jhootha Hi Sahi', 'Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag', Aree.........the same ones with which you scared your little ones and is still used as third degree torcher in all the police departments. What???? Even google shows 'no results'. It was the last ray of  my hope to remind you of these movies (No, you have done nothing wrong and I do not hold any grudge against you...Okay! Whatever!) I have watched all of these (Yes, hire a hitman and get me killed, now!) But, seriously, tell me- Don't you think I deserve some kind of bravery award or something. One more thing, I don't know if something is wrong with me but I still like 'Jhootha Hi Sahi' (Am I normal?!? Hell, no! I am Confused, Confused D i.e, CD!!!) Whatever that was!


2)  Talking about movies, ever had a friend who always kills the suspense? How dare you ask me if I was one of them!!! I am gonna sue you even if you are a lawyer! Kidding baba (I would never take such risks) Actually I am one of them *hiding her face* Please don't hate me!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone said 'Race' was a movie with more twists and turns than they have in a hot, yummy, crispy jalebi(Yumm......zyada khaoge....mote ho jaoge...SO CONTINUE READING!!) But, I being me, judged the entire story after 15 minutes of its beginning( No, I did not watch the hollywood wala version, if there was any) and WHOAAA every single word I utterred was upto the mark! Don't worry! I never do the same with books! (What?? No, You just can't stop talking to me because of point 1 and 2. After all I am a human and - To err is human (me) and to forgive is demon divine (you)!:))

No prize for guessing that I did not have company for many of my next movies and that explains why I am not much into movies!


3)  Okay! I am sure everyone travels by train. One wise advice from the heavens - Never, like NEVER EVER board a train in which I am travelling. No, I won't bore you to death! But trains I travel in, be it whichever, even like Rajdhani, tends to delay! I know its not a Big deal. We Indians have our own Indian Stretchable Time. But, how about 13 hours :O Yeah, I know! The trains I travelled has been THIS late! Least is 8 hours and maximum till date is 13 hours late. No, you idiot, this does not happen with the metros!


 4)  I am sure everyone is scared of injections. Well, I am just not scared of them. I get HORRIFIED at the sight of injections!!! I will cover my eyes and mute the volume even if this sight happens to be on television and face to face, toh.......don't even ask! You might be a brave person but I might just scare the shit out of you.
I am sure you must be thinking, big deal.....blah....blah and all but thats not it! I slapped (skip this if you can't read it........I AM NOT increasing the size of the font there!!) Yes.....Yes (hiding my face in the pillow which has dozens of more pillows and which has a huge pile of clothes that you all have not washed in the last decade, this pile does not include undergarments! Come on! I am sure you washed them and Yeah, the pile of clothes doesn't smell bad!) I literally slapped  a poor fellow who was just trying to convince me that it wouldn't hurt and poor thing...........Next movement.....my hand and his face!! I am so very ashamed of this particular incident even today :(( This happened two years back.


5)  Hehe...........I am not writing about my blunders any more! This must have already created an everlasting impression.

6)  There is nothing about point 6. I am just going to eat those hot, yummy, crispy jalebis which was mentioned above:)

7)  Nothing important about point 7 also. Just wanted to say that please enjoy the post(hadd hain yar!! atleast try toh karo......and try until you succeed!!) while I enjoy my jalebis :D


Thursday, February 2, 2012

AAP PAANCH CRORE RUPAY JEET GAYI HAIN !!!!!

The title of the post has nothing to do with its content. And now that KBC is over, my chance of winning five crores is a complete dream!(I am anyways not that intelligent)

 Yes, this is what this post is about. My dream or should I say a nightmare(Don't run! Its little less scary when compared to my posts:D) Actually it is a part 2 of my previous post which in case, you are interested you can read itthe.Because I gave you this link means you will for sure read and comment, the link is here means you should read it and have to read it(making a puppy face)

Anyways, its okay if you dont read it, it was anyways bullshit I will begin from the beginning and please don't run.....its a scary dream and I might need you to comment to be there if I am scared. So this nightmare occurred because of result of watching the movie 'Nightmare on the elm street' where someone kills people in their dreams(I couldn't finish the movie so don't expect details). Here begins my nightmare (STOP saying- 'finally here she goes')


I was in a crowded place, it was a wedding or a social gathering, I don't remember! I was playing with a swiss knife which I bought for my man from my last visit to Nainital (nice na! planning to gift him on valentines day :D) I was playing with that VERY VERY SHARP knife and giving poses infront of the mirror and suddenly..............................

I slice my neck and it falls on the floor(sad but I am not dead!). Suddenly *poof* appears Raaj Kumar(RK).

RK (in his signature style) : Yeh bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi, haath kat jaaye toh khoon nikal aata hain!
CD (holding her mundi with the help of her pony) : Oye uncle! Pehle batane ko nahi hota kya and please PLEASE vicks ki goli lo, khich khich dur karo!
RK : ............................(staring blankly)
CD : And FYI, my neck is cut and there is no blood!
RK : Bhoot! Bhaago!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And he is gone *sigh*)

Me, still with the mundi in my hand wondering why isn't there any blood. Am I a ghost or my brain is filled with ghaas-phus that there is no space for blood :O

My man sreams 'happy realization' inside my head which is no more in its original place!

Anyways, I move away from the mirror (because I my VERY scared to see myself like this) and try to adjust the mundi on my shoulder. It falls and I try again and hold it tight to save it from getting hurt! I go to my man for help and advice. Lets call him X (No, he is not my ex!! I just named him X here)

ME : X, I need your help!
X     : For what, To help you in scaring the kids or help you in throwing the popcorns in the air to show that its snowing or to..............
ME : Enough, I know what I did! I NEED your help!
X     : Are you alright, Do you have fever?
He comes near and touches my forehead and there goes my mundi :((
X     : Bachaoo!!!
ME  : This is what you say when nothing happens, I need variety X! Tell me something new that I have never heard from you!
X     : Really???? Okay! How dare you! I never expected this from you! Get lost!
ME  : That was lame!
X     : I know but how did this happen? (secretly, he is happy about it)
I tell him how it happened (aur tujhe toh main dekh lungi bacchu!!!)
X     : Hmm......Lets go to the doctor! He will stitch it and you will be normal again.
ME : No, I am scared of the pain. It might hurt while he stitches. Lets just let it be like this and this will be our secret! And I can easily scare everyone by showing them this avatar of mine!
X    : You can scare them in your original avatar also!!!
ME : But, I can even protect the world na, I mean I will scare the bad people and villains and I will be popular. I will be known as MUNDILESS WOMAN and movies would be made on me.........................
X    : Wake up you brainless woman! 
ME :  Baby!! Please baby....my schweet baby....my cutie pie.....
X    :  But you might scare yourself also when you see yourself like this in the mirror!
ME :  thinking(he is right, I did get scared) smart boy!
X    : Lets go now!
We visit the doctor and he stitches it.
From the MUNDILESS WOMAN, I become a brainless girl again! No chance of stardom, no single chance of being popular :(

Next day, I wake up and first thing I do is check my head on my shoulder and Yes, its there (now I wont be scared to check the mirror :D). Later, I tell my man about this dream and tell him how scared I was. Instead of coo-chi-cooing me he has one doubt in his head!

            "WAS I THAAAAAAAT BRAVE IN YOUR DREAM?????????"

And also the valentines day surprise gift was reaveled:(( Will have to think of something else.

P.S.    I had to torcher you with this post because I promised to complete it in my next post!(please, PLEASE bear with me)