Friday, April 6, 2012

FIRST 55 FICTION (SCOLDINGS) AND A WELCOME SPEECH :)

He left for temple like he did everyday. Before going inside he would distribute biscuit packets amongst kids who sat there. He forgot to bring them for next two days. Third day, a girl came and scolded him, "You have become careless! Don't forget to get them tomorrow!" He smiled and took out the packets.


Now- A WELCOME SPEECH :)


Ladies and laid ass (Men, I am talking to you!). Welcome to my  your pagalkhana! Okay.....Fine! I know its late, like VERY VERY LATE but still I decided to welcome you guys. I just realised that I never thanked you for commenting or following my blog. Most importantly, I never thanked you for bearing with me! I see many heads nodding in approval and "happy realization" has reached my ears.


No excuses! None at all. There is a reason but not good enough! Frankly speaking I never thought that I would ever, like EVER get a comment on any of my posts or anyone would even follow me! The only reason I started blogging was to read from you guys and writing- as I always say, I am learning to write. I never thought anyone would ever read my blog.


When I started blogging, I asked my man, "Who's gonaa read this shit and who the hell would comment!"
He being the sweet one said, "Don't worry baby, I will comment as a different user every time you post something. This way you would get atleast few comments."


So even he had the feeling that my blog would be a deserted island.


More than that, I knew this man hated reading as much as I love it! He reads only 'Mills and Boon' that too only few pages. I am sure you must have understood which pages I am talking about!


You know, someday, if I would give him divorce papers saying, "Baby....I signed them.....Your turn now." He would happily sign them without reading and only later he would found them to be property papers :D You get the gist now?


So guys, I never expected any of you. You are like flowers, food and belly dancers on this deserted island.  I mean it! *sniff sniff* (Getting a bit senti here)


So let me begin with the speech :) -


*Blank*
*still blank*
*asking my 3 year old neighbour kid for help*
*searching Google for a welcome speech* 


:D......Guys....Screw the formalities! You don't need a welcome. This is YOUR blog! You can come here, leave a comment (good, bad- anything!), write an entire blogpost (Trust me, I wouldn't mind. Its your blog after all!), throw a party- also pay for the food and drinks and do anything you feel like! You can even flirt with your fellow blogger at your own risk :D Everything in this blog is yours......EVERYTHING except for the ID and password. Kidding! No, I am not.......ofcourse I am kidding! Chuck it!


So......err.....This is the so called welcome speech. 


P.S. There is a lot of confusion about my relationship status. Guys! I am the confused here.....have mercy on yourself! I am happily married for the last five years. Can't say the same about my man   Being married for the last five years doesn't mean I am 72 years old and you have the right to call me "Aunty"! Don't you dare do that! I am only 23 years old and I will ***$!!^&)(*&^%$£"£$%^"£$%^***** if you call me aunty!!


Nothing is written in a foreign language or a foul language! It only means that even I don't know what I would do but I would definitely do something. Maybe call you uncle or grandpa!


P.P.S. What is you problem here! That I wrote "only" before 23 years old. Suppose I gave you a cheque of 23 lacs rupees, wouldn't you ask me to write "only" over there?!? tch...tch......Never expected this from you :(


P.P.P.S. I am NOT giving a cheque of rupees 23 lacs "only" over here. I meant it hypothetically! 


P.P.P.P.S. Finally I would like to thank you guys for commenting, following and bearing with me :) I just hope you continue to bear with me :)